The pilot and the soldier
by Krikr
Summary: When she heard him talked for the first time, she think he's an idiot. When he hear her for the first time, he think she's got a stick on her butt. Mostly dialogue, set during ME1, Ashley/Joker. Rated M for the second chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**An: So, it's been a while since i wanted to write some Ashley/Joker so here it is. It happend during Me1 as you'll notice.**

**I tried something that was only dialogue to see if it would work.  
Don't forget to review, I want your opinion and critics.**

**Enjoy!**

_disclaimer: I publish this on a Fan Fiction website so do you really think I own Mass Effect ? Think again._

* * *

"So you're our pilot." said Williams, visibly trying to begin the conversation.

Too bad for her he's not piloting and only sitting with nothing to do. It make him snappy

"And you're the woman replacing Jenkins."  
"What ?"

He guess he may have been too harsh when he see the look of anger and disgust on her face as she rise from the co-pilot chair to go.

"Sorry, but it's the truth, Jenkins not dead, you wouldn't be here."  
"Are you always such an asshole ?"  
"No, only when I'm bored."  
"Then what do you think I am ?"  
"So bored you would come to the cockpit to talk to me ?"  
"Yeah."

She fall in the chair. He decide to be more frindly, if only to compensate his rudness.

"Shouldn't you be with Shepard ?"  
"No, as soon as the turian offered to join us, he accepted him and told me to "go rest a little Williams, you've been through a lot recently." She said, quoting the Commander without much reverence.

He start to like her.

"That's nice."  
"Except that, since Anderson is talking with Udina, Chakwas is somewhere getting drunk and Pressly's most likely calling his family, I've absolutly nothing to do."  
"Do you have siblings ?"  
"Yeah. why ?"  
"You may want to talk to them."  
"Yes, you're right."  
"Just wait a sec... You can use the transmitter in the coms' room."  
"Isn't that against the regs?"  
"Come on Williams, there's almost no one on bord and you're still respecting regs ?"  
"You're sure no one's going to notice I used the transmitter for a personal call ?"  
"Not if you're quick."  
"Okay. Thanks Joker."  
"Anytime."

He wonder what's made him say that.  
He stop thinking when he see Alenko entering the ship.

.

"So, how is being almost drown into lava ?"  
"If you only want to hear me praise you, stop now."  
"Come on, it can't have been that bad, huh ?"  
He hope she'll react. She's fun when she do.  
"Ok, it was hot, red, orange and i nearly died. Is that all?"  
"Okay no more talking about that. So what do you think of the little asar ?"  
""little" ?Joker, she's hundred !"  
"And member of a specie whose members can live up to thousand. So I'm most likely to call it pedophelia if I were onto her."  
"You're not ? And here I though everyone loved asaris."  
"I do. When they don't look like not-adult-schoolgirls. And what about you ? Aren't you onto her ?"  
"No."  
He can help himself but repeating her words.  
"But i though everyone loved asaris."  
"Smartass."  
She can't hide her grin.  
"So, who's your onto ?" She add  
"Nobody."  
"Why ?"  
"Because nobody's onto me, Vroolik and all that."  
"Vroolik ?"

Shit.

"And I burned myself. Again."  
"Yoy've got Vroolik."  
"Yes ! So are you gonna pity the poor cripple or what ?"  
"There"s no way I'm pitying you, smartass."

He stay silent for a few seconds.

"Thanks Williams."  
"I think can call me Ashley."  
"Thanks Ash. "  
She roll her eyes.  
"So, now that I've told you my embarrasing secret, what about yours ?"  
"You really think I'm gonna tell you my "embarrassing secret" ?"  
"Yeah, call it information trading."  
"You won't laugh ?"  
"I swear."  
"I wanted to be a poet when I was little."  
She hide her reddened face in her arms.  
"That's not embarrassing. Well, not that much. I think it's kinda cute."  
"Cute ?"  
"Because right now I'm imagining you sitting down at some poetry convention, if they exist, and presenting your work to passerbys."  
"Oh, quit it."

.

He don't hear her but, thanks for the little mirror he's installed, he can see her coming.  
He reacted rather... violently the last time she crept on him, drawing his pistol and almost shooting her.

"So Ash, how were the ruins ?"  
"Grey, grey, grey and there was geths. Oh ! and they were grey too."  
"Sounds like you, Garrus and the Commander had fun. How did the Thorian looked ?"  
"I've taken a picture. I knew you were going to ask me that."  
He can't keep a whistle.  
"Yeah, I know. But how did you managed the colons ?"  
"Closing the door. We were sooooo heroics."  
"You don't have to be bitter. It's my job, as Wrex's, Tali's, Liara's, Kaidan's, Garrus' and the commander's to look awesome on ground."  
"So what's mine ?" He ask playfully.  
"Saving us from volcano's eruptions."  
"Thanks for reminding me."  
"Anytime Joker."

.

"So, while our leader, Liara and Tali are at the Peak, do you want to go with me at the bar ?" She ask him when they're on Noveria.  
"Port Hanshan's got one ?"  
"Yes but it's pretty expensibe so only one beer each."  
"Okay."  
He get up and go to the decontamination chamber.  
"Whoah, don't so fast, you'll be dead before even doing three meters outside."  
"I thought we youldn't stay long outside."  
"Smartass."  
"That's why you like me. No ?"  
"Unfortunately. Come on, we must hurry."

Five minutes later, in one of the Port Hanshan's bar.  
"I told you to wear something." She say playfully  
"I'm not used to running, that's all."He answer, still shaking.  
"You were not running, you were barely jogging. Frankly, I am surprised you can jogg."  
"I said I got Vroolik. Not that I was made of glass." He pause a moment. "Even if one of Vrooliks surname is "Glasses bones disease". But that's not the point. I can walk, I can almost jogg."  
"Ah. So, what's your type of women ?"  
"Sorry ? Where do that come from ?"  
"Well, we most likely won't see Shepard coming before a few hours so we can at least pass the time."  
"That's still rather personal."  
"You will answer, what's your type ?"  
"Willing ones."  
"Come on."  
"Fine," he let out a sigh "Tanned dark-haired ones. And you ? What's your type?"  
"Snarky ones who aren't off-limit."

They stay silent for few minutes.  
"You know Ash, you're one of the few person who hasn't pitied me for my Vrooliks."  
"Is that a marriage proposal ?" She say teasingly.  
Contrary to what she except, Joker don't make a snide answer. He look into her eyes and say.  
"Only if you want to."  
"The new hours are passed in passionates discussions about their families, history and others things they don't remember, until the Commander come in person for returning to the Normandy.

He don't ask any questions after Virmire.  
She just fall into the co-pilot's chair and look into space.  
Without thinking, he pull her in his arms and they stay like this for a good twenty minutes before she break out and kiss him.

* * *

**NA: So ? How bad was it ?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Basically this was a request for the KMass Effect Kink meme wich I filled. I think it goes well with the precedent chapter.**

**WARNING SMUT AHEAD! IF YOU'RE NOT ADULT OR DON'T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE PORN DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER.**

**Even if the rating M should already suffice to warn you.**

**Also, it's my second attempt at smut so it may be bad.**

_disclaimer: Read the one in the first chapter._

* * *

"Can you fuck ?"

The question had popped out of nowhere or so it seemed to him.  
True, Williams and him had taken the habit to talking together, was it Ashley who would come see him or the other way around.

True they had also gotten quite familiar with each others, being both very sarcastic and having the same ..."honnesty" would be the pleasant term.

It was also true they had also gotten close to the point they had shared rather personal histories and though.

And, if he was honest with himself, Joker had to admit he liked the Gunnery chief a ‹i›lot‹/i›.

Still the question was rather surprising.

"What ?" Joker asked, hoping (_wishing_) he hadn't heard right.  
"You heard me and since I finally gotten the courage to ask it I'm not living until you gave me an answer. So can you fuck ?" replied Ashley, a stubborn look on her face.  
"Well, technicaly speaking, since dicks don't contain bones and erection are only due to blood pumping down there, I can. I just have to avoid rough things." said Joker hoping that a strict and scientific answer would suffice.  
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking."

And, without thinking, Joker added:  
"Do you want me to show you ?"  
It was Ashley's turn to be stunned.  
"What ?"  
"Yeah, sorry, bad idea, forget it." said Joker, trying to hide his head behind his cap.  
"Have you done it before ?" asked Ashley  
"Well... No. I was quite taken by the lessons and after that any girl who knew would avoid it. Fearing to "break" the poor cripple."  
"And what if I wasn't ?"  
"That would be the wonderful. Plus you don't seem to pity me."  
"Let's do this then."

By reflex, Joker closed the door leading to the cockpit, sealing it.  
"So I'm your prisoner ?" asked Ashley flirtatiously.  
"Merely keeping people from interrupting." answered Joker

Without hesitation, Ashley place her right hand on his trousers, fumbling to open them while, with her other hand, pulling him in an embrace and kissing him.  
She couldn't help but think Jeff was _very good_ at kissing.

She withdrew her mouth from his and looked at his dick now free from any pants or trousers.  
She broked eye contact to look at his member.  
He wasn't too big wich was rather rassuring.  
She would always remember that time at Arcturus Station. The guy was nice but so big and thick she had endured pain and trouble for walking for days.

A suddent bolt of pleasure interrupted her thoughs when Joker started carresing her pussy through her panties while massaging her breasts with his other hand, alterning every ten seconds or so.  
Damn he was good at pleasuring a woman.  
She nearly lost herself when a finger entered her.  
She let out a long moan.  
"Are you sure... this is your... first time ?" asked she between deep moans of pleasure.  
"I was quite lonely during all those years. Why do you think the Extranet is for ?" answered him, adding a second finger  
"For _yes deeper_ porn."

As good as his fingers were, the only thing she wanted was his member inside her.

"Please... Jeff... I want ... your dick." Managed to say Ashley through her moans.  
"If you ask so nicely."  
And he entered her.

God he's amazing. was all Ashley could think during the next seconds.  
She might have been biased by the fact she didn't have sex during the lasts weeks but it still felt amazing.  
And then he startred his thrust.  
They weren't the quicks and rough ones she was accustomed to and that's why it felt even more fulfilling and pleasurable.  
And that was before he started pinching and caressing her clit with one hand while keeping massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples with the other one.  
Hadn't she been back against a wall, Ashley was sure she would have stumbled on the floor at this moment if not long ago, reducted she was to only the orgasm she felt builing in her and the pleasure Joker was giving her.  
Wich didn't meant he wasn't feeling any, if his grunts were any indication.

She felt him kissing her, deep and sensuously, like their love-making was.

She felt her orgasm overflowing every other feeling and had her shouts muffled by his mouth.  
She felt him trusting a little more before pushing himself out of her and cummed on her stmoach.

She took the semen with her fingers before licking them, slowly, one by one, before repeating again during a minute or so.  
She smiled when she saw his erection growing again and him not able to look away from her fingers.  
She sucked the last with a long, deep, moan of pleasure.

As he swooped on her lips for a kiss, she couldn't help but thinking she had found the perfect man: confident, dashing, funny and, as she just discovered, a wonder in bed.


End file.
